His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You just sat there for two solid hours staring at your monitor and every five minutes screamed "LEGOOOOOS"
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
