Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
Cuz I feel like I ate the whole candy isle at 7/11 last night and chased it with rum
You pretty much did tho
He was just lying in his underwear like a present. I had to unwrap it.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
He got naked after doing the Ice Water Challenge and it was still enormous. So, yeah, I stayed over.
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
