Remember that night when i almost got you arrested? Is that funny yet?
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
All I wanted was a quiet evening to masturbate and eat cake and instead you ruined it by bringing girls over.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Not sure what you smoked, but you put raw bacon on the lazy Susan and spent 45 minutes looking at it and mumbling Meat Spin
Randomize
