My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
vagina is talking i cant
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
There was a gay guy in drag passed out against the wall but we had sex in there anyway.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
He got weirdly turned on by the video of my cat licking nacho cheese off my finger.
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
Not drinking until my bday. I know it's only a few days but it feels like when couples get celibate before the wedding and there's all that tension.
Randomize
