I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
I don't want random pictures of your morning wood. It's like, what a glorious morning oh a penis.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Stop calling me, Mom. I'm in his closet. You're gonna blow my cover and I'm about to catch this lying SOB.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
