im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
i think i just naturally attract stoners
Randomize
