He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I have a drinking game planned. Were gunna watch empire records. Everytime they say rex manning we have to take a shot
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
