I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
I'm not sure drinking my way through west nile virus is the best idea. Oh well, already committed to that plan.
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
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