people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
After I just paid $211 for my hair to be dyed and cut this guy at the bar said "I know you died your hair with koolaid, but I'd still fuck the shit out of you"
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
Randomize
