RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
I understand Curling. That high.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
I caught him with his head in the spinach bag this morning. He was laughing demonically saying, "i love spinach, yes I do."
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
