but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
You just managed to turn Dr. Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
My ex-wife, who I haven't heard from since the divorce, just Amazoned me cherry flavored massage oil and a rainbow caps with the message "Happy Pride". What's the polite response?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
