were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I have beard burns on my inner thighs. I'd say last night went pretty well.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
Got a thumbs up from a trucker for doing lines on the interstate. God bless america.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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