I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If he's dead I'm so gonna get the blame. I have his passport, keys and his tooth in my purse.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
Randomize
