i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I knew the cheap date at Taco Bell would backfire because it makes even the most pre-cautious girls involuntary fart in public
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
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