drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
you were crying while pretty ricky was playing, what did you want me to do
i came on her dog
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
I just had a boat ride of shame. With Senior Citizens.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
Tell him "come over but don't bring a flaccid dick"
Wear something tight
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Randomize
