I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
My liver needs the occasional pep talk and a reminder that we are two weeks into freshman year of college.
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
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