we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
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