It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
We fucked twice, I went to the bathroom to freshen up, and came back to him playing "Your Body is A Wonderland" on his guitar naked in my bed.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
best eviction party ever.
it wasn't an eviction party you asshole, you just happened to get yourself evicted during the party.
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
Randomize
