Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
