But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
I woke up at 3am naked and stroking a watermelon.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
The slutty girl scout law, revised for halloween 10: on my honor i will try, to serve my vagina and my shot glass. To hold back friends hair at all voming moments and to live by the sluttly girl scout law.
Yeah I fingered her in the crowd and the dj saw it and gave me props over the speakers. I got so many high fives.
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
So, I feel bad. I just told my husband I had sex with someone else while on a business trip. Today is his birthday. I'm kind of a dick.
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
Randomize
