I opened up her dishwasher and all I found was a spoon, a juice glass and all her sex toys.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
I mean...if Marco gets pregnant, it is either the spawn of Satan or the second coming of Christ (neither of which I want in my life). So let's just hope that he doesn't grow a womb and that we don't have to consider either option.
Randomize
