Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
It's like God shit irony all over that family
And whoever invented the condom should be put to death.
i'm pretty sure i'm on the same train we took last friday..
what?how do you know?
it appears they have not cleaned up your vomit yet.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
Randomize
