Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
...
True bitches know their best friends favorite Boones Farm flavor.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
