im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize