Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
Do you think my parents will accept my drinking habits more if I told them I like to drink every night because I take good shits the next morning?
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I took a pregnancy test at Pancheros a bit ago.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
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