drank two beers while on the toilet at home during lunch break. new high or new low, not sure
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
Randomize
