Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
So I was blaaazed. & while he was in me all I kept thinking was how bad I'd rather be watching The Office.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I feel like my stoner spirit animal is Janice from the muppets.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
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