Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
I was expecting a blowjob when she shoved me in the bathroom but instead she shaved my pubes into a mustache for my penis. I am still satisfied.
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
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