so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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