Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
i tried to climb in the window in the limo because i wanted the driver to take me to get noodles. ive reached a new level of fat kid
your love of good penises attached to ugly faces is disgusting and slightly disturbing.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
If you get home and there is an older woman there, its my mom. She wants to come and see the place after work. Just an FYI. Not the older sluts I bang.
I need to quit being a slut. It's to the point that I got my period today and automatically I Believe I Can Fly popped into my head.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
Randomize
