so i woke up this morning thinking _____ was in bed with me. . .but it was only a half eaten sonic burger
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Haha just talked to the dude you bit on Thursday. He has been growing a beard to hide the bruising....
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
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