I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
he only noticed i dyed my hair purple like halfway through sex and he looked really shocked and he just said "You look like Barney." as he came.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
he would snap chat his dick as like Harry Potter
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Just whisper "I fucked your boyfriend" in her ear and be done with it.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Randomize
