the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Ugh. The fucking vaginal recession is so real right now.
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Do not let Mike show you his naughty Santa Claus outfit. It's a super long beard and crotchless pants.
Randomize
