also: i found my "nug jug", actually the baby did, but either way it got returned to its rightful owner
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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