I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
this islike a room full of reasons why i should be in prison
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
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