I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
The number of injuries I get impersonating Shakira while drunk is getting ridiculous. Sprained vagina, dude.
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Unless your name is actually "Ticfj" like my phone says, I have no idea who you are...
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
Randomize
