No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
did i walk over a car last night?
I was about to send you a concerned-for-your-safety text b/c it took you more than ten seconds to respond to a text that mentioned both the bar and lesbians
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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