so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
most desperate stoner moment might have been when we filled the bong up with pond water
desperate times, desperate measures
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I snuck a teenager into a club last nite, I felt like such a criminal. It was Awsome
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