I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
I like yr title more along "the hot Russian I have sex with."
I'm just gonna ignore the fact that I have no pants on and find a way home. A good one-nighter never goes back for his pants.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize
