Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Excuse me while I take my birth control pill for today to prevent getting pregnant from hearing about your sex life
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
