She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I'm so hungover all I can do is stare at my curser and hope it starts moving on its own
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Do you ever get so high you're like vibrating
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
