How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
id be glad to
I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
Dignity is for republicans.
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
Do you think I should make him wait for my responses or do you think sophomore have no concept of time like dogs?
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
I broke my wrist trying to give him a blow job...
And this is why we can’t have nice things
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