about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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