you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
his life revolves around getting high and answering people on yahoo answers. he's perfect for you.
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
How are you getting in?
I know some influential drag queens
Just used an eyelash curler to open my beer since I didn't have a bottle opener. Things are starting to look up.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
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