Having sex with her was like reading the Wall Street Journal.
What do ugly girls do when they get too drunk at parties. They can't pull the whole "sorry i passed out on your couch but i'm hot so it doesn't matter "card
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
I'd call the fact I ended up in my own bed a huge success
If my one night stand asked me to move in with him right after does it still count as a one nighter?
Randomize
