a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
I apparently asked the cab driver to show us his dick and then he showed me a picture of his girlfriend
Ok here's the plan: birth control, KFC, handcuffs.
...blackout vacation is awesome. Where did you end up? I think i'm in Miami.
Hospital.
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
Randomize
