Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
So pretty much, I was trying to piece last night together and remembered a point where I was pointing to you heart then touching your face. I'm not sure that I ever translated that to "I like your personality better than your looks" but that's what I meant
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Two girls are doing the worm relatively well on the bar floor after the fact I just saw one puke in the trash
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize
