just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
some girl just asked me how to spell unconscious. I really want to know what she was texting.
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
i have a strong feeling i fucked one of the waiters here...
I mass texted 4 of you for a booty call. Please reply all when responding so only one of you shows up. Last one is a rotten egg.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
If I never see my landlord's dick again, it'll be too soon.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Randomize
