he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
It was unlikely that the relationship was going to end with anything other than antibiotics.
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Yuck. My throat feels like someone chucked a couple of Maltov cocktails down it and finished it off with a super soaker filled with Jameson.
if the furniture in my bedroom wasn't shape shifting... this would be a different story.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize