dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
you announced to everyone at the bar "fuck girls. they're confusing. im gonna start having sex with boys now"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Also, I found this app that is basically a tamagochi from the 90's and now I finally have something to keep me busy at work!
do you know of a way I can die but like NOT die? like not being unconcious, just ascending to an astral plane for a few weeks or months in real world time so i can sort my issues out away from the rigors of life kinda deal, you know?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
Randomize
