I'm about two and a half drinks away from gay.
I'm coming over.
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
There's nothing like puking in the airport on the way TO Vegas. Something tells me i pregamed a little too hard.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
just went back to the bar and asked if they found a shoe last night.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm laying in my bed in the fetal position with a bag of frozen peas on my head and the bathroom trashcan next to me. Fucking tequila.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
Randomize
