Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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