I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
I just cut my nipple shaving
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
Two words Indian burn...
What did she think it was, a shake weight?
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
i'll just tell him I slept with them both because we needed to compare notes
woke up laying on an empty pizza box and some guy was doing blow off my butt...i guess i should thank you.
Things I want for my birthday 1. a Chipotle grade tortilla steamer 2. a new liver
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Nothing will ever be as awkward as looking my mother in the eye and talking to her while I have a dick inside me. Time for a lock on my door.
Okay I’ll say it... THIS MOVIE FUCKS
That’s probably the first time I've heard Little Women described that way and I love it
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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