is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Just got my cast off. My occupational therapist wants me to self-gratify. My clit is about to have an awesome weekend...
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
I left boob prints on the hood of his car. Something to remember me by.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
Just googled "penis wearing a hat" i think it's safe to say nobody found my ex's lost phone...
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Randomize
