Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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