Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
your stepbrother is rimming his martinis with coke... keeps saying "thank god its tuesday". where does funemployment end and intervention begin?
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
It probably would have happened but I just can't picture myself losing my virginity while laying on top of his Quiksilver duvet set.
After we had sex he told me it was a "goodbye gift". We haven't talked since.
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
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