Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
I'm a grown ass woman. Treat me like one. Fuckboy
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
