We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
She said I walked up to the McDonalds counter and ordered just a cup full of pickles then proceeded to offer some to everyone in the place.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
All she said was "Do me by Friday."
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