Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
HEY. That drawer full of booze in my dorm room also has aspirin and Tums in it. So don't tell me I don't care about health.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
I had sex with a boy who lives in a closet, that's like having sex with Harry Potter, right?
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize