i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Flying into Chicago for a few days, getting re-deployed in September, we should probably fuck
Kristina got the same text from you just now, she's sitting next to me, how many people did you send this to?
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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