Theres this fat girl in desperate need of the proactive factory in my class and as i watch her shovel food in her face I am struggling to not only keep down my meager lunch but also to stay straight. Eliza Dushku couldnt even get my flacid dick to move
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
What is the proper Father's Day protocol when you're sleeping with a guy who has kids?
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
Randomize
