Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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